Helen, (not her real name) a tall, attractive seventy-year-old woman, who was a V.P. in her company, had a history of being in relationships with passive aggressive men, which left her disappointed and unsure of herself. This is my fifth long-term relationship, she lamented and I am recognizing after a year of dating, he is passive aggressive the same as my previous relationships. I reassured Helen, she isn’t the only woman who attracted passive aggressive men. Thus, her work began.
It is my custom to take a medical history as well as a psychological history–Helen reported she took medication for a Mitral Valve Prolapse and Depression.
The Mitral Valve is located between the upper left chamber and lower left chamber of the heart. The mitral valve is made of two flaps of tissue that opens and closes in a rhythmic way to allow blood to flow in one direction–from the atrium (upper chamber) to the ventricle (lower chamber). The left ventricle is responsible for much of the heart’s pumping and propels oxygen-rich blood into the arteries. The arteries then carry the blood throughout the body. When the mitral valve doesn’t open and close properly, the flaps may “billow” backward slightly into the upper chamber during the heart’s contraction. This is called mitral valve prolapse (MVP). As a result of MVP, a clicking sound can often be heard when listening to the heart sounds with a stethoscope. In MVP, sometimes small amounts of blood may leak backward into the upper chamber of the heart because the valve does not close properly. This causes a “heart murmur,” although the heart itself is working correctly. The heart has an adequate blood supply, even with the MVP. Prolapsing mitral valves do not usually get worse over time.
I wasn’t surprised at either condition–given her relationship with her family and subsequent relationships with men. Each time Helen left a relationship she lost a piece of herself and became more disillusioned and self-deprecating about her ability to create a healthy relationship.
Traditional Western Medicine (TWM) recommends treatment for Mitral Valve Prolapse to include:
Diet: Nutritionally complete, well balanced. Avoid caffeine and chocolate. Caffeine tends to stimulate the autonomic nervous system and worsen symptoms. Avoid sugar. A surge in blood sugar stimulates the autonomic nervous system and makes symptoms worse. A mid-afternoon high-protein snack is highly recommended. It is recommended to maintain ones weight within the range for height and body structure–fad and crash diets need to be avoided.
Fluids: Adequate fluid intake is important. Many symptoms such as dizziness, weakness, light-headedness, etc. are due to low blood pressure and low blood volume that can be helped through drinking adequate amounts of water. A minimum of 64 ounces of water or non-caffeinated beverages per day are recommended.
Exercise: Regular exercise is necessary to improve fitness and reduce MVP symptoms. Exercise should be aerobic, such as walking, running, bicycling, swimming, etc., and should be discussed in advance with a physician.
Medication: Medication may be required to improve symptoms of MVP.
Except for medication the treatment for Mitral Valve Prolapse is indicated for anyone to maintain a healthy body. However, it is curious that TWM states that medicine may be required to ‘improve’ symptoms of MVP. One wonders why one would settle for ‘improvement’ when healing is possible? Unfortunately, the majority of people do not know healing is possible, because the medical and pharmaceutical treatment does not heal anything. However, since TWM and pharmaceutical treatment is the accepted health model everyone trusts this paradigm without checking other options.
Using Holistic Healing (HH) we know all physical dysfunctions is the unconscious mind’s way to convey a message to the conscious mind. What does the unconscious mind want you to know about a particular body part?
The Heart and Heart Chakra is the center from which feelings of love emanate. It is also associated with other virtuous emotions, such as joy, happiness, honesty, respect, compassion, understanding, and generosity, and with loving oneself in a sincere, non-egotistic way. Conversely, the heart often holds sadness, anger and despair from the many disappointments, betrayal, neglect, etc. we encounter in life. Thus, blocking the love, joy, happiness, honesty, respect, compassion, understanding, generosity, and self-love that inherently intended to flow from ones heart.
Helen accepted the concept of holistic healing and was eager to go to work. However, she was happily surprised when I told her, the Mitral Valve Prolapse could be healed so that she could stop taking the medicine for the MVP and depression.
While there were other issues Helen focused on, for the purpose of this article, I will focus only on her process of healing her heart.
Helen readily reached a deep level of relaxation and I instructed her unconscious mind to focus on her heart. As she focused on her heart, I asked her to describe what the Mitral Valve Prolapse looked like.
H: “I see a dark space.”
N: “How big is the dark space–is it the size of a pea, walnut or something else?”
H: “It is the size of a walnut.” “I am feeling a lot of heaviness and pain.” She rubbed her upper left chest area.
N: “Describe the pain–is it sharp, dull, stabbing, or something else?”
H: “It is like a deep heavy dull pain.”
Tears started to trickle from under Helen’s closed eyes.
N: “Take a deep breath–and blow it out.” “I am going to count from one to three and when I say three you will be in a time and place when your heart absorbed your hurt, sadness, despair, anger or disappointment to help you cope.”
Helen recounted several incidents when she felt neglected and disappointed, because her mother was frequently away from home due to her inability to manage adult life. Her father, although present seemed preoccupied and did not discuss her mother’s absence. Helen was on her own to process the unanswered questions. With no prior experience or tools to sort out the experience she pushed her feelings out of the conscious mind. Given that feelings have energy that energy needs to be either dissipated or put somewhere. Helen put her feelings in her heart as they were heart related. Thus, her heart was overburdened. when any body part is overburdened, it will eventually breakdown.
As the sessions continued, Helen processed all the incidents of neglect, disappointment, fear, anger, sadness, shame and guilt. Her understanding, compassion and love for herself came to her conscious mind as the processing evolved.
After several sessions Helen reported the dark space with the deep heavy dull pain was gone–it showed itself pink with a warm glow. She reported her entire body felt lighter, and freer than she could ever remember.
I advised her to engage the advise of a Naturopath to gradually reduce the amount of medications she took for MVP and depression until she was medication free.
In three months, Helen was medication free, she had tools to manage life’s journey and with understanding, love, joy, happiness, respect, compassion, self-love, generosity and love in her heart, she went on her way to create the relationship she knows she deserves.